My Top 10 Truths, Discoveries and Realities of coupling (and the
daily mundane things)
marriage is a union of 3 beings: the man, the woman and her hormones.
I am not making it up.
Don’t give me that look.
To my husband:
1)
That is truth no 1. And they are likely to be a part of our
married life. That crazy monthly time my collarbones rolled into fats and my
breasts are glaring at you like eye popping stress toys. Yes, they are the
crazy times you are close to wringing my neck and packing my things.
2)
I don’t mind you snoring. Please sleep tightly (and
do not suddenly blab over breakfast that you did not sleep well the night before).
Unless it starts to sound like a power saw taking down a hundred year old
Acacia tree then I start to worry.
3)
Changes are inevitable such us:
a.
The need for a bigger bed even if I want to
sleep wrapped like a baby panda
b.
The maxi pads and the likes in the monthly
grocery and the process of taking them from the trolley to the conveyor for the
lady cashier to scan
c.
And the embarrassing moments you need to change
the stained sheets
4)
My alarm wakes us up early and I hit the snooze button
and I just snuggle, then the alarm beeps again and I hit the snooze button again
and I just snuggle… That is the best
part of my day.
5) When I say I am fine you go out with boys and I
go to the coffee shop alone or stay at home, I am being honest. There are
days we just want to do our things without disturbance or without having to
explain or require us to be sociable.
To my girlfriends:
6)
You could be very ecstatic about the D-day or
too occupied you cannot put into words what you want to say in your wedding
vows. Do not say things only because it is sweet --- because you will be bound
by it and anything you promise can be used against you. If you promise to
always put food on the table, it will really be a pressure.
7)
It’s a different set of rules for each couple.
For one: "Never go to bed with an argument unresolved" – it does not apply
to all couples at all times. When you want to argue, you want to argue. And sometimes
it’s the third party, hormones, that does the reasoning – and you have no
explanation to that except your period. You just need to wake up like it’s
another day.
8)
The process of doing the laundry, drying them,
folding and sorting is an endless task.
9)
The evolution of assets: When you insist on
piling too many take-away or leftover foods inside the ref, that piece of appliance
is ‘his’. When the freezer door won’t close there’s the urgent need to defrost,
that becomes conjugal.
10) You
will wish sometimes socks have their own life and find their way to the hamper
or to the drawer. Or socks are like your clingy, overly romantic girlfriend who cannot
live without a pair. It will make your OC life peaceful and easier.
PLEASE NOTE THAT IMAGES HERE ARE NOT MINE NOR I BOUGHT THE RIGHTS TO USE.
