Thursday, November 26, 2009

FEMALE, 32 YO, SINGLE… So what?

That would sum up my information sheet.
The gender is inborn, the age is counting, civil status is indefinite and the state of mind, if asked before being pre-maturely assessed, is a choice. 

Trial and Error
To wake up with a choice for my completeness and happiness as a person was my favourite part of the day. Because along my journey before this, I also have my fair share of trial and errors, I also have made right and imperfect decisions, hit and missed big time, been depressed and scared witless at some part of the days (aggravated by hormonal rage and sleep deprivation) when plans didn’t happen on time, lived peer-pressured for choices that didn’t work perfectly. Until I decided I will cut the invisible string that controlled my happiness. Until I decided to stop making excuses for my decisions. Until I decided to change my attitude.

I know the curious and shortsighted me will still try plans that will not work, decisions that will backfire or spend fortune for pleasures, stake on relationships that are unsure but I will bounce back again because that what makes life magical. 

It is an absolute fact, that while you live, you will make relationships, as normal as you breathe: long and short, romantic and platonic, hereditary and built.

In the romantic relationships department, the journey is still in progress and the train will keep moving. In between stops, I know I was being polished by the decisions I have made and the people I was with. But one important lesson learned, I should stop taking the full blame when relationships come to an end. As one or I decide to step out of the cage door, I am still me, complete as he is.

To all my friends and loved ones who have found their the-ones to grow old within their lives, I am happy for them. And I still have that vision of me being with someone. But while my relationship/civil status remains SINGLE, I will live a life and my state of mind will still be a choice and not societal-pressured. Because I know I will still be complete.
And that would be ME, loving ME.