I
have no millions under my name to protect or book royalties to expect, but as
we all know living under one roof and sharing one bed means all of you exposed
to the other half including your skin pores. Two people no matter how nice will disagree on the smallest issues
and the pettiest of things can send them down each other’s throats.
So
following my Sweet Assumptions,
I am passing my Top 10 Pre-nup Agreements. Sweetie, I know you have
yours topped with ‘stop writing about the tiniest details of our lives’ but
before that list gets signed and sealed, please refer to below:
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#10
|
Bookshelves for my books – everything else we can negotiate or can wait, but not this
indulgence. I need them to keep sane. ‘Ayt, I promise to give away to college
students the romance novels from Book Sale so we will not have to keep those
you are ashamed of piled in the cabinets.
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#9
|
Pressure Cooker – we need kitchen aids to prepare better meals and we need this
to tenderize beef!
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#8
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Spacious kitchen. Sweet escape.
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#7
|
***Pressing clothes – sweetie, I can do the laundry without complaining, even
hand wash your knitted pullovers if necessary. But please let’s leave to the
dependable Mr. Laundryman downstairs the job of pressing your dress shirts, we
will make more friends and it will both save us from distress.
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#6
|
***Let me off to the grocery store alone when we are in a hurry
or hungry. You’re just so wonderful accompanying me to the grocery, really. Not all men do
that happily more so volunteer, but when it’s lunch or dinner time and we’re
dizzy, you know the fastest way is to pick your trusted brand or pick whatever
you already have in mind. Deciding which brand of honey doesn’t have to be like
making a history. #iloveyou
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#5
|
No
action thriller movies – like Taken or psychological thriller Orphan. I know
watching movies together is one of your ideas of ‘quality time’, thank you. But
please, we have it established I have a china heart for torture in any form and
we will just end up in a row if you force me to endure movies that stir
ultra-heightened emotions. Knowing you are just nearby is already quality time
with me. Consider it your ‘me’ time - I’ll chill some Heinekens, pop some
corns, you can invite over the boys.
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#4
|
Bad hair days – we will wake up with one or come home with one. Not necessarily
because of each other but one will be inevitably pain in the ass to the other.
The same way I bombard you with 1 new sms/sec that drives you crazy. Please continue being
patient and understanding.
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#3
|
Understand PMS-ing – Stop sneering, I’m not making it up, promise! Every grown
up woman goes through that… every month.
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#2
|
The endless teasing and the bad sport – it’s like cats and dogs, like cause and effect, the one attracts the
other like magnet. So either we end up rolling on the floor laughing, me crying or us fighting. But I guess we
have to live with that. We have years of practice.
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#1
|
Happy pills – remember we are stuck with
each other: a vase of flowers once in a while can brighten our day, or a pup
when we are settled will allow us think of other living things, and space for
our own hobbies and interests will give us room to grow individually, etc…
etc… let us not forget those along with
dinner dates occasionally.
***
Emergency situations can be negotiated.
